I have received your highly un-orignal attempt to scam me out of my money, but if you need help thinking of ways to take my money in the future please use one of the following scam messages as a template:

#1: Dear Sir, My name is Zach Jobo, I am the only son of Chief Solomon Dudu Jobo. As I am writing to you this mail, the where about of my big sister remains a Mystery to me for the past two weeks now. I could not go looking for her for the fear of my security because I am suspecting that the people that killed my father took her and this made me go into hiding. I have reported the matter to the police and up till now no clue was found about her disappearance. My late father was a very wealthy cocoa and coffee merchant based in Abidjan, the economic capital of Cote d’Ivoire (Ivory Coast). Before he was poisoned o death by his business associates on one of their outing to discuss on a business issue. My mother Anna Jobo had died 12yrs earlier when I was only 7yrs old. Before the death of my father on 10th February this year in a private hospital here in Abidjan, he secretly called us on his bedside and told us that he has a sum of US$21,500,000 (Twenty one million,five hundred thousand United States dollars) left in a Security and safe deposit house here in Abidjan, that he used my name for the beneficiary in the deposit of the fund. He also explained to me that it was because of this wealth that he was poisoned by his business associates. He directed us where to get the documents of the said deposit and I have all the papers concerning this here with me. He advised that if he dies, we should look for a reliable and trust worthy person to solicit for his help to bring out the money and transfer it to another country because we are not safe to live in this country any longer. He said that we should not go to any of his friends or associates for help. I have gone to the Security Company to negotiate on how to take this money but found out that my father left an instruction with the Company of deposit that I must reach an acclaimed age of 25yrs before the deposit could be released to me. We went out of school since the death of my father and now my only sister had disappeared. I am no longer in school and I hardly cannot afford to wait till more six years because of my safety and my education. I am soliciting your assistance in the following ways; 1- To act as my father’s business partner/guardian so that the Company could release the money to you. 2- To provide a bank account where this money would be transferred into 3- To serve as my guardian and take care of any investment we make till I finish school. 4-Make arrangement for me to come over to your country after the money has been transferred. if you are thus truely disposed to help, I will give you all the documents so that you will contact the Security company on my behalf as my late father’s foreign partner so that the Company will release the deposit to you. Out of the whole money, we will negotiate on what you are to take for your assistance. Please write me back immediately through this email address above so that we can negotiate on how to go about this. God bless you, while I await your urgent response Zach Jobo

#2:

ASSISTANCE REQUIRED FOR ACQUISITION OF ESTATES. Dear sir, I write to inform you of my desire to acquire estates or landed properties in your country on behalf of the Director of Contracts and Finance Allocation of the Federal Ministry of works and Housing in Nigeria. Considering his very strategic and influential position, he would want the transaction to be strictly as confidential as possible. He further want his identity to remain undisclosed at least for now, until the completion of the transaction. Hence our desire to have an overseas agent. I have therefore been directed to inquire if you would agree to act as our overseas agent in order to actualise this transaction. The deal in brief is that the funds with which to carry out our proposed investments in your country is presently in a coded account in the Nigerian apex bank and we need your assistance to transfer the funds to your country or any safe account outside your country in a convenient bank account that will be provided by you before we can put the funds into use. For this you shall be considered to have executed a contract for the ministry. The contract sum of which shall run into US$15.5Million of which your share shall be 30% if you agree to be our overseas agent. Your area of specialisation does not matter in this transaction, all that is required of you is a safe account and your willingness to assist us acquire estates in your country. As soon as payment is effected and the amount mentioned above is successfully transferred into your account, we intend to use our own share in acquiring some estates abroad. For this too, you shall serve as our agent . It might interest you to note that last year, a similar transaction was carried out with one MR. CHIENCHEN YU of Taiwan but after securing the payment approvals, and payment effected, MR.CHIENCHEN YU changed his numbers and addresses, and was no where to be found on our getting to Taiwan. That was how we lost US$7.5Million. So this time around , I will be with you before the remmittance is made into your provided account to avoid future occurrence and allow trust to play a very minimal role until performance is seen. You are requested to communicate your acceptance or otherwise of this proposal, through Tel/Fax No. 234 - 1 7590807. After which we shall discuss in details the modalities for seeing this transaction through. If however, you are not disposed to assist, kindly destroy this letter in view of the confidentiality of the proposed transaction and interest of personalities involved. Thank you in anticipation of your co-operation. Best Regards, Mr.Cyril Epa

Hope that helps you out a little. Now fuck off.