Everybody knows I have a co-worker who is an arsehole, well today in all his wisdom he asked me to find an email (we log all incoming and outgoing) well, first of all he said “It was sent to (name) at (company) by (sender)” I replied “When was it sent?” his reply “Sometime with in the last week” well as helpful as that is I continue to ask him some more information that would assist me in pointing out his vague request, so when I asked “what is the email address of the person” he replies…. wait for it…. “I don’t know”.

Well, hur-fucking-rah, I have logs with THOUSANDS of emails, you’re asking me to pick a needle out of the metophoric fucking hay stack.

So I attempt to look, I run reports and the lot, finally I find TWO emails that could possibly be what he asked for (mind you both at the begining of the month and not within the last week as he claimed it was), so I sent him this email (as he couldn’t be bothered to pick up his phone) [bold bits are pointed out for later reference]:

I have found two emails sent to ‘(email)’ which I assume is the person you’re looking for, the first message was sent on 01-Apr-03 and the second on 02-Apr-03. The second email has the subject “(subject)” and the first one has no subject at all.

Just let me know if either of those are the correct messages.

You’ll never guess what he send in his reply….

MAY I LOOK AT BOTH PLEASE

I must be SO FUCKING STUPID I can’t read it UNLESS IT’S IN CAPS. But it gets better, I’ve given him what he asked for to the best of my ability and here is the phone call I receive back:

Those are messages that (name) sent!

Well, umm, yeah thats all I could find and THATS WHAT I SAID IN THE EMAIL. But I gracefully reply:

Those are the only two messages to or from that person/domain. Other than that I can’t find it.

To which he “thanks” me in a shitty tone and rudely puts down the phone.

Well I’m SO FUCKING SORRY I can’t find what you want, first of all you give me as much detail as saying “I sent an email in 2002 to this guy, find it please.” and second of all you don’t need to be a RUDE FUCKWIT when I attempt to find what you want, I could have said “well I won’t be able to find it unless you provide me with detailed information, so find the info. kthnxbi”.

Gah, he’ll probably find some way to blame this all on me, however I’ve printed up a list of my search results for the ENTIRE MONTH and circled the messages I found.

Listening to:

Vibe: infuriated

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