Dear Orange,

One of my friends has an Orange handset which is quite convinced my number is not active, I can assure you it is, if you wish I could forward you my monthly bills (for you to pay) or send dead rodents with my number painted on to them, either way is good for me.

Please have this resolved or I’ll buy you out, add a clause to all your contracts and use it to crush not only your company but your souls too.

Kindest Regards, Kevin

p.s. my father could kick your father’s ass.

Listening to:

Vibe: artistic

LJ ItemID: 332685