Since the beginning I’ve had a talent, it’s not just any talent, it’s a special talent.  Yes folks, I am Miss Thang.

A combination of growing up in a household of black girls (most of the time) and not having to be bothered about silly things like parental reprecussions lead to a lax editorial policy between my brain and my mouth and when I’m on par I can slap your bitch ass from here to Yemen.

However, one of my better points of my talent, is I’m a bit of a perfectionist.  I can roll them out as they go, but I take a moment to think back after an exchange and say, “maybe I should have mentioned the cancer patient hair style” or “how did I miss that charity shop reject dress” (says me of little style).

After serving  it up to some child who has made himself  a baine in Lord Boyzici’s life, I take this moment to look back and critique my obvious win (I got MSN blocked AND Australian Crimestoppers is aware) of this battle.

First I start off with this gem:
Bellend: (10:59:06)
are u a smelly asain or something

Кевин says: (11:01:57)
go ask your mum, she’s on the game, she’ll be able to explain all.

Yes, a (pork javalin) stab at the mum is a good start for all involved.

Bellend: (11:02:19)
i have to ask you something

Кевин says: (11:02:39)
yes, you can become a chick with a dick.

20 second turn around on that, I admit, I could have done it in 10, but I was reading livejournal.

Bellend: (11:02:58)
how do u no me

Кевин says: (11:03:45)
supprisingly I did, he was such a slut

Disregard the menial rubbish, like spelling ‘know’ as ‘no’ and go in for the jucy stuff, especially when they walk right in to something.  Using a throw away remark can usually get that kind of reply with little effort.

Bellend: (11:03:58)
who are you

Кевин says: (11:04:11)
is this some kind of paradox

Nothing is better than the word Paradox.  Use it wisely.  See also Plethora.

Bellend: (11:04:19)
are you a pedifile?

Кевин says: (11:05:23)
but your uncle is.

The paedophile route is probably the most lame of lanes to travel down.  But if it’s used just go with the flow.   Also using tard in this context was lame, in future I don’t think I’ll bother with it.

Bellend: (11:05:33)
then why are you persisting to say such filth to me ?

Кевин says: (11:06:37)
What part of PARADOX do we not understand?

Give them a route out, if they persist, just keep them rolling.

Bellend: (11:07:13)
whats PARADOX?

Кевин says: (11:07:18)
exactly.

Far too easy.

Кевин says: (11:10:21)
repeating it three times won’t conjure biggy smalls

When they start going on about something, take hold of the conversation.  I shan’t post it since it’s litterally boring as watching paint dry, but I did use a South Park quote, so obviously it must be shown.

The conversation goes on for a bit and it’s pretty much just the same over and over, a couple “your mum is a crackwhore” jokes (with actual photo of a crackwhore) and use of “LOL INTERNET POLICE” when he claims to make Crimestoppers aware of my “crime”.  Serious business.

Then the win:

Bellend: (11:23:00)
dude your such a frikin derooo

Bellend: (11:24:49)
seriously this is gay

Yes, the “OMG THIS IS SO GAY” line and the MSN block.  Success.  Now back to some furious wanking.

Originally published at Кевин.com.ua. You can comment here or there.

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