Facebook is not a happy place right now, my timeline is filling up with family photos and various comments of an emotional theme.  I'm not going to get involved right now and start posting comments/replies I'll wait until the coming days and after I have a word with my father and sort of figure out when to step in.

The man on the left is John who passed away Friday morning and the man on the right who looks suspiciously like me is my father.  I think this was from his [my fathers] and his wife's trip to Surrey a year or two before John and his wife went over to see my father in Canada.  I happened to be around for the latter visit which basically ended in them not talking until Thursday this week just before John died.

I personally didn't know John that well and that visit he made with my father was the first and last time I met him.

I don't tend to post much about my family because it's a bit of a sensitive topic of mine but seeing the events unfold over the last few days kind of make me want to address it a bit more.

The bit that kind of gets me is that after my car accident it sort of made me think what would have happened if I died (I know that seems really emo, but it was pretty bad and we did very well to come out with nothing but minor injuries)?  My mother would have found out eventually through a series of people down a emergency contact chain but my father could have quite easily gone a few good years without knowing.  Seeing as we didn't speak for something close to 6 years until a couple days ago and he didn't know where I lived it's entirely a plausible outcome.

So I think with the recent passing on of John, he's keen not to let the same thing happen happen to me (if that makes sense) and the only reason we didn't talk was over a falling out of nuclear proportions and I don't speak to the family because I've never known any of them.

But after what has happened they're keen to get to know me, my father is keen to stay in touch and I basically some how found myself in the middle of a mega family and no fucking idea where to start.  So for me it's trying to digest John's death, the circumstances around me and my father's relationship and being thrust in to a group of people I know absolutely nothing about.  And it's only a matter of time before I get my first email, phone call or facebook notification. 

I figured I might as well write about it as its pretty much the only way I'm going to stop dwelling on it and this LiveJournal has been a time line of events since 2000, so it's a mega-mega part of my existence.  I may even after time has passed open up this entry or maybe even set it to private tomorrow.  We'll see.

Listening to:

Vibe: thoughtful

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