Well sort of! I mean to post here but gurl I don't got no time for nothing now.

During the weekend I was off doing this in Billericay, Essex:

Where as for the last two nights I've been preparing for riots. What a strange feeling the city has had. When I woke up on Monday I was totally oblivious to what had actually gone on mere yards from my doorstep the night before, so not totally bothered about that.

But Tuesday, holy crazy pops, the city centre was dead, shops all closed early, train station pretty much vacant and the Tesco I made it in to was ready for a kick off and to get the hell out in less than 60 seconds if they had to.

No drama though.

Although Bristol has been hit but not as bad it's shocking to see how this expanded so rapidly and the behaviour of the people involved makes you want to be ill. How can you claim to be human and mug a man who has been stabbed and bleeding in the street.

More to the point the parents of all these kids, and we all have heard about the feral group of 10 year olds running around with knives in Birmingham, should be locked up for their lack of educating their children. You made them, you need to care for them and not fuck around saying "it's so hard". Should have thought about that consequence first, non?

Unrelated to all these events was the hilarious attempt at a fare dodge I witnessed last night. This guy had clearly picked this ticket off the ground and gave some piss poor bullshit tale about how he "washed it" and "the writing came off".

The train manager clearly savvy to this whilst not giving the remotest of fucks about it made this guy sweat like a whore in a sauna.

He took the ticket and said, with conviction, "don't worry, all the information is on this magnetic strip". The scrawny guy started to dart around a bit, cool as butter the train manager "swiped" it through the ticket machine and after a pause and a "humm" with a stern look said to the guy "it's only saying it's a ticket for today, no matter" and wandered off.

He may not of paid his fare in cash, but certainly paid it in comedy gold.

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