What a complete paradox this entire weekend has been, well I say paradox, maybe that's a touch melodramatic considering a paradox if ignited would end all time itself. And I find that pretty shit, how will I know if it was Friday if time blurred its boundaries? Really.

I decided that Friday night would be a quiet one as I was going out saturday, so being the man with the plan I stuck to it. Well mostly until 8pm at which time I was already on my way to being rather drunk on value cider.

When you're at that stage where the cider is talking, music is churning from the pub outside and you have a friend on his way down to your area who is then off to a club, I think it's fair to say the only answer is to party like it's 1999.

I met up with Tom (boyzici) around, um, I'm not entirely sure. Had a bit of a chat, pint and catch up and headed down to a club doing an event called Horseplay. I also had the pleasure of my bank completely shutting shop and refusing to cash out all night.

The event was alright, me and another (KJ) from the group I met earlier stayed until kicking out time. I can not remember the time passing but I do remember the toilets in that place were pretty awkward for a piss if you're six foot.

When I got home, well more, staggered, I got in to bed when it decided to cave in to gravity, and well my bed caved in. Bad times, I some how managed to manhandle my mattress off that hot mess and on to the floor where I remain until I can find bricks or a breeze block to return my bed to its glory.

Saturday was pretty hardcore, I don't think I really got back in to shape until around five or six in the evening, which was pretty fine considering I was attending Tab's birthday dinner.

I had the joy of arriving at Bath Spa station in the middle of an idiot rush, where I actually had to physically remove people from my path to exit the train. I even got attitude from some ignunt bitch who was pushing her way up the down only stair case wondering why people were not letting her through.

I'll tell you this now, if you're reading this now bitch, you are fucking lucky I didn't bounce you straight back down. OBVIOUS CONNECTIONS ARE OBVIOUS.

Once I met up with Tab's and her wobbly heels a group of us headed down to a pub for pre dinner drinks before it was time to enter the car wreck that was Bottelino's.

I will tell you now, Trip Advisor will never see such a horrible review that I shall be dishing on that place in the next couple days. But highlights included:

- 90 minute wait for starters.
- 45 minute wait for drinks.
- £4 pints.
- Incorrect items on the bill.
- Food with free hair.
- Hint of chilli on the menu that actually meant HOLY FUCKING CHILLI.

We then headed out to a few bars, had a few drinks and I was feeling sober and actually rather super; until the Sambuca at the last place we were at before I headed home.

It turns out Sambuca, like a chav with a knife on a dark street corner, will fuck you right up.

I then took the opportunity to see Sunday as a vegetate day. I also watched St. Trinian's, some how this translated in to a success.

See also: attached pictures.

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